Nothing Compares To VACUUM

In PostgreSQL, running VACUUM is crucial for maintaining database health in terms of managing space and performance. Here is a song I encountered recently that glorifies the VACUUM process:

Nothing Compares To VACUUM/The Ballad of Bloat (youtube.com)

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took my grants away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took my grants away

Since it have been gone I can do whatever I want
I can tune whatever I choose
I can write my SQL with a fancy clause
But anywise
I said anywise can run vacuum
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to vacuum

It's became so bloated without it here
Like a DELETE without WHERE
Nothing can stop these long transactions from delays
Tell me admin do you wanna bloat?

I could count on autovacuum demon
But it’s wrongly tuned
I went to the PM and guess what he told me?
Guess what he told me?
He said girl we had an external audit
and cannot grant it to you, but try to do
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to vacuum

All the tables that were cleaned before
manually
All have bloated huge
I know that running it manually wasn’t good
But I'm willing to automate it
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to vacuum
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to vacuum
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to vacuum

당신이 나의 권한을 빼앗아간 지 벌써 일곱 시간 그리고 열다섯 날이 지났어요
당신이 나의 권한을 빼앗아간 이후로, 나는 매일 밤 외출하고 하루 종일 잠을 자요

당신이 떠난 이후로, 나는 원하는 걸 할 수 있어요
내가 선택하는 것을 튜닝할 수 있어요
멋진 절로 내 SQL을 작성할 수 있죠
하지만 어쨌든
내가 말하는 어쨌든, vacuum을 실행할 수 있어요
왜냐하면 아무것도
vacuum만큼 좋지 않거든요

그것 없이는 bloat가 발생해요
WHERE 절 없는 DELETE처럼
이 긴 트랜잭션의 지연을 멈출 수 있는 것은 아무것도 없어요
관리자님, bloat를 원하시나요?

autovacuum 데몬에 의지할 수도 있었어요
하지만 그것은 잘못 튜닝되었죠
PM에게 갔더니, 그가 무슨 말을 했는지 아세요?
그가 무슨 말을 했는지 아세요?
그는 말했죠, 소녀여, 우리는 외부 감사를 받았고
당신에게 권한을 줄 수 없다고, 하지만 시도해 보라고
왜냐하면 아무것도
vacuum만큼 좋지 않으니까요

이전에 수동으로 청소되었던 모든 테이블들
전부 엄청나게 불어났어요
수동으로 실행하는 것이 좋지 않았다는 걸 알아요
하지만 자동화하려고 해요
왜냐하면 아무것도
vacuum만큼 좋지 않으니까요
아무것도
vacuum만큼 좋지 않아요
아무것도
I also would like to share the original song:
Sinéad O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U (Official Music Video) [HD] (youtube.com)

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone, I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor, guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said, "Girl you better try to have fun, no matter what you do"
But he's a fool

'Cause nothing compares,
nothing compares to you

All the flowers that you planted mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you